Communiqués de presse - Deer poachers neutralized! South pole race back on

Deer poachers neutralized! South pole race back on

We are getting reports from the ground at Greenland that the poachers responsible for the grand Christmas reindeer heist have been tracked down and captured.

According to witness accounts, an elite task force came together on the morning of the 30th, and stormed a hideout which had been discovered the previous day. One was said to have shouted "yippie kay yay mother-" as he entered the property. Meanwhile, one of the poachers could be seen trying to flee, only to be knocked out by an electric iron that had been placed above a tree by tripwire.

Ultimately, all of the missing deer were accounted for, and Santa has announced that the previously cancelled south pole race will be held in the new year as soon as the reindeer have recovered from this ordeal.